The Cocktailer's Garden

Who wouldn't love a garden burgeoning with boozy delights? Where the fruits of your labor literally turn into citrusy spikes. I keep a Cocktailer's Garden right outside my door - and I both nuture and abuse it furthermore! I can't express the utter satisfaction I get when picking, juicing, zesting + muddling - the intoxicating end result is always doubly delicious + doubly befuddling! It's really quite simple to plant a Cocktailer's Garden - and better yet, it CAN be done on a rather modest margin! With my 2nd cocktail book merely 2 months away -  I've been tending my Cocktailer's Garden nearly every single day! Just like people, plants need water, sunlight + food - and starved plants yield fruit that is moot! When I see one of my cocktail yeilding plants lacking a bit of luster - I douse them a dose of Scotts Miracle-Gro and those suckers thrive like no other! A happy Cocktailer's Garden will provide nothing but endless joy + intoxicants - and not for nothin' but also a sense of boozy accomplishments!!

Now get those plants planted so they're ready come harvest - for she who drinks thy own crop is she who is smartest!